Parents hear first-hand accounts from teens under academic stress
By Emily Sorensen
The number one issue teens face today isn’t drugs or sex, but academic pressure, according to students themselves.
“What I Wish My Parents Knew,” is a series of workshops led by teachers, administrators and faith leaders. The latest session was held Tuesday night and was attended by about 200 parents, hoping to learn more about the issues their teenagers face while trying to navigate school, friends and family.
The session held at Rancho Bernardo High School Tuesday featured seven topics of discussion: guiding your teen through the party years, which dealt with drugs and alcohol; depression; creating boundaries; communication; social media; healthy teen relationships and academic pressure.
Many topics were selected after taking anonymous polls of teens, asking what they felt their greatest pressure in life currently was. Former Poway High School principal Scott Fisher, who is one of the event’s steering committee members, said that the poll revealed that many teens said the greatest pressure they faced wasn’t drugs or alcohol, but academic pressure. “It’s heart-wrenching, what our kids are going through,” said Fisher.
Other members of the steering committee are Traci Barker-Ball, Susie Berner, Todd Cassen, John Ettore, Dave LeMaster, Greg Mizel, Daryl Nuss and Jesse Winkler.
At the Academic Pressure breakout session, parents had the chance to hear about different forms of academic pressure and the toll it has taken on four seniors from Westview and Rancho Bernardo high schools.
One of the pieces of advice echoed from multiple students was the importance of remembering that your dream for your child may not be their dream. “Parents often forget that it’s about your kid’s dream and life, not yours,” said Westview senior Chris Szarek.
Others spoke about the pressure to take multiple AP classes not because of interest or because the class related to their future area of study, but solely to boost their GPA. Emma Bottin, a senior at Westview High School, spoke about how not taking any AP classes in her sophomore year made her feel left out, because other students were taking multiple AP classes. “A 4.0 is an embarrassment,” said Bottin. When she took an AP class her junior year, however, the pressure of the course drove her to an eating disorder.
Pierre Sobhani, a RB High senior, said his friends “pushed him over the edge” in pressuring him to take AP classes. “Make sure your child is hanging out with the right kids,” he said, adding he was getting “a lot of flak” for choosing to attend Miramar College for two years before transferring to UCSD, rather than go straight to a four-year university. “The stress from [college] applications made me want to stop going to school.”
Szarek said that he knew multiple students who had turned to drugs, alcohol or self-harm to deal with the academic pressure they faced. The pressures that teens face can be helped by parents being supportive, not driving them too hard. “Parents should sincerely ask how their kid’s day was,” said Szarek. “Push them to do well, but understand that there is a line. Ask your kid what they want to do and help them get there.”
“I thought [the event] was excellent,” said John Campbell, who has a daughter attending Poway High School. “[The students] gave a lot of good examples of academic pressure, and how to handle things with my daughter.”
