Mr. Marketing: Hello. Thank you. Leave me alone.

I’ve known Joe since kindergarten, and confess I now avoid his calls.

Joe only calls to borrow money or ask a favor. Not once has he inquired about my daughter’s singing career or my wife’s health.

Advertising Age must have hired someone just like him.

Ad Age is required reading for anyone serious about marketing, and I’ve subscribed for years. When renewal notices arrive, a check is promptly mailed.

So I was very pleased when Tom called yesterday to ensure I’ve been receiving each issue on time and in good condition. “This is positive customer service,” I thought.

Then the shoe dropped.

“While I have you on the phone, let me renew you for another year,” Tom suggested.

And the truth came out. Tom doesn’t work for Ad Age, but is using their subscriber list to try selling me something.

Call me old-fashioned, but I typically buy from people who deliver good quality at a fair price and treat me as more than a number in a ledger.

When Unicorn Jewelry store owner Fred Nasseri asks how I am, I never wonder about his sincerity.

Five Star Auto, RB Vet Clinic, and Streeter Printing all get my business because they treat me like a valued customer. There’s nothing fake about them.

My father once told me you can’t do business with everyone.

Some folks should just be your friends. Others are just clients. Sometimes that line gets crossed.

You shouldn’t just be talking to people with an eye to how they’ll grow your bottom line. If you do, I guarantee they’ll determine you’re a phony and end the conversation.

That’s why, if I suspect your only objective is dipping into my wallet, you’re gone from my life.

As I age I find I’m increasingly spending time with people I genuinely like and care for. My patience for phonies is quickly dissipating, and my buying decisions are following suit.

There are ways to improve your business, some of which we’ve addressed in this column over the years.

However, deception isn’t one of them.

So to the folks at Advertising Age, building a successful relationship with me needs authenticity, mutual respect, and communication. Calling me under false pretenses is a guaranteed non-starter.

Or maybe you wanted to irritate me?

With that said, I wish you a week of profitable marketing.