Mr. Marketing: Thanks, but no more water for me

At age 8 I attended a wedding reception and asked a server for water. Fifteen minutes later I asked another server, and 15 minutes after that a third request went in.

Thirty minutes later three glasses of water simultaneously descended on me.

I was probably ignored because I was a kid, right? Okay, we’ll cut them some slack. And yes, I should let it go.

Today my bride and I dine out periodically. At one of our occasional stops the food’s good and the prices reasonable. However, the service reminds me of that wedding reception.

Barely settled into our seats, we get menus tossed to us. After two minutes we’re asked for our order. Should we hesitate, we’re asked for an order every two-three minutes until we place one.

Over the next 75 minutes we’re typically asked eight times if we want water. Waiters ask us four times if we want to order anything else.

Feeling rushed, I sometimes walk out swearing to never go back again.

In your own business, your very survival probably depends on whether you’re providing the proper amount of service.

But what’s the right amount of service?

First get inside the customer’s head and determine his/her objective: a relaxing meal, buying a book, etc. Greet the customer, ask if you can help, and follow your customer’s lead.

If questions are asked, provide the answers. If you’re told “I’m just browsing,” go on your way but don’t disappear entirely.

Because the answer to good service isn’t to ignore someone until they make a fuss nor to have servers or clerks hovering. The answer’s halfway between the two.

I understand that anyone hustling to earn more tips or commissions wants turnover to increase their chances of making money.

Still, I can’t help but feel there’s a line that needs to be drawn. Be there to help me, but just as much as I want you to…no more, no less.

Because like at that long-ago wedding, if you give me too little service I’ll feel overlooked. Too much and I’ll feel smothered.

In either case I’ll feel the experience was lacking, and will think twice before coming back to you or referring you business.

And you’ll probably never even know why.

With that said, I wish you a week of profitable marketing.